Never have I ever had an answer to a question change so drastically as I have had with this one….
Where do I see myself in ten years?
When I was a freshman in college, I figured by the time I reached my 30’s I would have at least a few books published. I didn’t think that my self-doubt would grow to the level that it has. I also thought if I stayed in the news, I would be working at a 24-hour news network. If not, I wanted to have a job that would allow me to travel.
Now when I see myself looking down the road my dreams aren’t as wild.
For starters, there’s no way I’m going to throw myself into a 24-hour news network pushing 50. I don’t have the energy for that at 32. I’m sure as hell not going to have the energy or the care for it at 42. At least two books published would be great. But honestly, for me, the real success would be to squish that horrible self-doubt and just push my work through. I know how to write, I enjoy writing, and I know how to self-publish, so I just need to do it for crying out loud.
All the work I am doing right now is for my family. In ten years, I see my husband and I living in our home that we will have worked hard to earn. It will be our sanctuary away from work but also where we can let loose. I want it to be a place where our kids feel safe and comfortable and a place that will host our kids’ friends.
I have never lived to work, I work to live and to me living would be planning family adventures to somewhere fun.
I know that while we’re trying to create memories, my daughter may complain about and stepson will most likely whine during the drive. But no matter what, it will leave them with the best memories. Even though kids don’t think memories and quality time are better than any video game or electronic while it’s happening, they will thank us later.
It’s a scary thought that my stepson will be on the verge of getting his driver’s license. As of right now, he’s hard-working, smart (too smart for his own good at times), and just overall a good kid. In ten years, my husband and I will have a nearly full-fledged adult on our hands, and I hope to God he’s a good one.
In a very short decade, the little girl I’m fighting to get down for a nap because she’s past the point of exhaustion will be heading into middle school. I can only hope that girls are nicer than when I was in middle school because, damn, they were vicious.
I cannot wait to see the child she will grow into. She’s already such a happy, talkative baby. I can’t imagine her personality changing very much. However, she’s also a tiny terror who loves chaos at the moment, so God only knows what type of trouble is coming my way.
I was always warned that kids change you. I just never expected them to change my goals. Don’t get me wrong, I want to succeed, especially with my writing, but I am also in a different part of my life, and I don’t want to start a new job and meet new people. If I have enough money to live off of, raise my kids right, and sometimes travel, I am happy. The stress of trying to reach for some sky-high position and killing myself for a job that would replace me within a day if I dropped dead is not worth it.
So where do I see myself in ten years…being a kick-ass mom, raising two kids who aren’t assholes, and maybe sucking it up and letting people read my books.
