Apparently, I’m only allowed to pick five for today’s writing exercise. I’m not really a people person, and when I am around a group of them, many things just make me want to retreat back into the nice safe space of my home.
So here are my top five from
5.) Shirt tucked into the back of someone’s pants. My husband knows this and will do it on purpose to drive me crazy. He loves to just walk slightly out of my reach and point it out so I can’t fix it. I have been known to quickly walk behind a stranger and untuck it. Either tuck in your shirt or not…don’t do this weird half-tuck stuff that looks like you got too excited when you were leaving the bathroom.
4.) The toilet paper roll. There is only one way to do it (unless you have a kitten, and that is almost not even excusable), and it is, as the picture shows… everyone else is wrong, and you just want to watch the world burn.
3.) The color orange…I’m not talking about the fruit. I have a massive amount of hate for the abomination that is bright fluorescent orange. I will not eat artificial orange candy and avoid orange soda. The fakeness in the flavor and colors just turns my stomach. In high school and college, anytime I got an orange pen, highlighted, or mechanical pencil, I gifted them to one of my friends. I have no idea where this disdain comes from, but it’s there, and it drives me batty.
2.) I hate the word conversate. I feel like it’s a lazy and improper word. You either have a conversation with someone, or you have conversed with someone. Anytime I hear it used, I have to refrain from correcting the person because I don’t want to be that asshole. But you bet your sweet ass I’m yelling in my head that’s not the right word.
1.) Mouth noises from food, i.e., chewing, slurping, or mushing. When I eat dinner with my friends and family, I need music or the T.V. on. I can’t stand to hear people eat, and that includes myself. I have lost my appetite before because of how someone eats their meals. Until recently, I had always thought it was just the crunching sound from hard foods or snapping of gum that makes my skin but recently, I have discovered that’s not the case. Now that everyone is eating avocados, I have learned that the mushing sound is probably the worst ever. I hate hearing people eat. If I see someone with avocado or bananas nearby, I prepare myself for the worst or leave the room. I really can’t function correctly if I spend all my energy trying not to lose my mind on some poor person who is just trying to eat.
